*Mood:

Curious, stressed, kinda lonely
*Listening to:

'Speak for me', by Jaci Velasquez. 'I will carry you', by Clay Aiken.
*Looking forward to:

Ice Skating, my 16th Birthday
*Working on:

Eh.. 3D character requests; "Slightly exaggerated Adventures" X-mas party comic (page 2) ; school work.... I forgot the other ones. Oh, I know! I need to working on sleeping... Yeah, that was it. Oh dude, X-TREME SLEEPING!!! (Disclaimer: *Sigh* Yes, I borrowed "x-treme sleeping" from my Brother's whacked out imagination, just so ya know, bro. lol!)
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Hey cyberspace people! What's up?
You know, I typically like writing in online journals fairly much, but the gray Deviant art site... It just looks so boring in the journal section. :s This site needs some nice blue skins, ya know!
*Rude awakening:
Well, I'm up "early" this morning. This past week or two I've been sleeping in since I got used to that from when I got sick. So it's been really hard to get myself to get up in the mornings. Till today, that is. I woke up to the sound of a cat meowing at the edge of my bed. I just rolled over and said "Not today kitty". Sometimes my kitty, Oreo, will come and visit me in the mornings. But the thing is, Oreo never stops moving. She is a wiggle worm and it's impossible to get any sleep when she's around.
Besides, she hogs all of the covers.
So I just ignored her while she jumped on me. It worked, until I moved my feet under the covers. -WHAM!-

She pounced on my poor little unsuspecting feet, and she scratched me through three blanket and still made me bleed. Yaaouch! O_O;
I don't remember what entirely I said. I think it consisted of "Ouch!" and "Don't!", though....

But yeah, my Mom came in after my yelling and took the cat outside to get some breakfast. So, the cat gets breakfast while I bleeeeeeddd. lol. I didn't know I was bleeding though. I was just thinking that this scratch seemed to hurt more than it usually would have, so I got a flash light to take a look at it. Meh. It wasn't exactly what I was planning on waking up to, but at least I was awake, right?
It still hurts... Me poor foot! *laughs* Sorry, that just sounds... wrong...
Of course, you probably don't care even the least bit about that. If you do, then... Well, give your self a pat on the back for being an awesome person! *Pat* *Pat*
Unless, of course, you don't care.. Then you don't get any pats. *No pat* *No pat*
*Ice Sk8ing:
Anyway, I was hoping to go Ice Skating this week.. Yeah, me... Ice Skating... That should be interesting! lol. Unbelievably I have managed to injur both of my feet. My left from the cat scratching me, as I just wrote about, and I have not even the slightest clue how I bruised my right foot. All I know is that it hurts.
Well, that was a short entry.. So now you're going to come away from reading this thinking, "Wow. That girl likes to talk about her feet." Gaaahhh.... O_O;
*Disappointments and a hungry little kitten:
Ever get your heart set on going somewhere, and then it turns out that you can't get a ride there? Yeah, that's what happened yesterday. I get why I couldn't go, my Mother was sick and my Father was working late. So I wasn't mad or anything, just reaaaallly disappointed. It took me two hours to get over it, as well. I don't know why! For the first hour I was restless, and for the second hour I was all emotional and what not. *Sigh* Ah, the joys of being a girl...

I've noticed something kinda weird though, every time I get disappointed I want to make Peanut butter Cookies and play Prince of Persia on my Game Cube. O_o
So everyone is just waiting for me to get disappointed so I can cook and entertain them. Yay, I feel so special... lol!

So I did cook the peanut butter cookies, but by the time I was finished with that my Father was watching TV, so I couldn't play Prince of Persia *Sniffle*, so I made a wallpaper instead ('Raider of fantasy').
When I was making the cookies a cute little kitty came up to my house.

Usually the neighbourhood cats are mean to my cats, so it's just natural instinct to go outside and scare the mean cats away. But this kitty was different. I went outside, and it just stared at me. It seemed pretty nice. So I said hi. It stared at me (I get that reaction from people sometimes, too. Hmm...). I smiled at the kitty. It stared at me. I figured I might as well just let it come up and get some food, but stupid me just had to wave at the kitty, and guess what it did? It ran away. Like, what ever happened to the staring thing???
For some reason that made me sooooo sad.. O_o I could kind of see myself in that kitty in a way. No, not as a furry thing with a tail. But as a lonely nobody going from place to place, just looking for a hand out of love and safety.
And I went out there to scare it away??? I felt like an idiot.
I watched from the window to see if the kitty would come back, and it did. But it only looked at the cat food from a distance, then ran away when my cat 'Lucky' came back home to get something to eat after roaming the neighbourhood.
I sat at table just thinking about that kitten. It was cold out there and she was just hungry... It made me so sad for some reason, nearly wanting to cry even.
I realized that I wasn't just sad for the kitten. Maybe there was something more deep down in me hiding, some past hurt calling to be let out.
This is my personal mission this week, to find out what that hurt is so I can take care of it, not just bury it down further. Maybe that kitten didn't come along to eat, maybe she just came to show me that I needed to be more aware of the things that I'm hiding inside.
... That cat must be psychic!

... O_O *Laughs* Okay, so I >highly doubt< that being the answer, but it did open my eyes, so to speak. Just something to think about...
I'll let you guys know how my melodramatic "self searching" goes. In the meantime, I'm going to go get a cookie!
With wacky thought provoking love (lol!),
~@T